Oh, it’s nice to be done with the two first exams. I am happy, even thought I ‘m sure I did really badly. Over to something completely different. For a couple of days, I’ve been thinking about something. It is maybe a bit personal, but I trust the ones that might read this post. Some of you do also know a lot about what is going on.
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There is one word that somehow does mean a lot to me. It is the word respect. If you look around, how many times have you wanted people to show some respect for you or others? Myself, I have wished that the girls at school could show respect for my faith. I am not saying that they must be Christians, but just don’t criticize me like they do. I am tired of it, and I wish just some respect. I am not to complain really, because there have been other, and still is other that are going through the same or even worse. I just don’t understand why I can’t take it. There are moments I just want to lie down and cry like there was nothing else in this world. I want to trust Him, and I try. But why do I still fail?
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And there is one thing more. When you can’t take things anymore. When everyday is a battle and everything looks hopeless. I know God and Jesus is there, but why can’t I trust them like I used to do? Wye must things be so hard? Why do I have to struggle with weight? Why do I have to struggle at school? Why do I have to struggle socially? Why do I have to struggle with pressure? I have so many questions and it seems like I am all alone. That feeling... I can’t explain it. It is just horrible.
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If people ask how it’s going, you often say things like okay and fine. But the truth might be something different. I don’t have very much to say...
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The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9-10)
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. (Psalm 34:17)
Both of them are wonderful Bible verses, but sometime it is so hard. Sometimes, it seems like the darkness is bigger than the light. I know that it is completely wrong, but it seems so much harder to believe that don’t do it. But God has promised that it will end well, and I am trying to trust Him.
I hate to see you in such anguish, Queen. *snugs* Know that you are NOT alone, and I am praying for you. I do relate to a number of your feelings, having experienced them myself: struggling with trusting Christ, feeling weak, and longing to escape the world. You aren't alone, you know. Not everyone is as honest as you, and I think a lot of people out there look more put together and stronger than they really are.
SvarSlettIn regards to taking insults for being a Christian, I have a few verses for you:
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name." 1 Peter 4:12-16
Lucy, I was going to comment here, but I decided to write a post instead - it's over on my blog. I hope it helps and encourages you. You know how much I love you and that I'm praying for you daily.
SvarSlettDana, I think that verse fits in perfectly with what I wrote about; thanks for posting it!
I'm going to borrow something my mother said just last night. She was talking with a woman in our church who still struggles emotionally with feeling useless. The woman wanted to know how to conquer these feelings, how to grasp the truth that Christ has made us everything, that we are to Him great treasures. And Mother quite simply said it's something you have to fight. You push it back a little at a time, a little at a time, just a little farther back each time. It is rare that any of us conquer a problem in one fell swoop. Some can do it, most of us can't. Ours is the long hard fight. But we have good company: Paul fought that fight too.
SvarSlettSo Lucy, know that you probably won't stop asking 'why' all of a sudden. It will be a long process as God works in you, sanctifying you. But He WILL perfect you. Let that be your comfort. You will still fail - we all fail - but God's promises are no less true. He does love you, He will guide you, He will correct you (sometimes painfully) when you do wrong. That is the joy of his children. So take heart. As Dana said, there are many, many believers who are asking the same questions and struggling with the same problems. And the same God who loves them loves you as well, and He will see to it that we are all kept safe.
Courage, dear heart. ^.^
First of all, thank you all so much for writing a comment here. I don’t have words really. But to see that there are actually people listening to what I say, and do care… I am so thankful. I don’t think any of you want to see me at the moment, but I’m crying, and it’s not just because of allergies. To see the comments are… I don’t know what to say other than thank you all so much! (I use a lot of tissues to say it like that.)
SvarSlettI want to say thank you all for the uplifting words. It really means a lot. And I want to say thank you for the Bible verse, Dana. It was beautiful. I sat down today and read some in my Bible. (Both James and 1 Peter.) And that verse is simply beautiful and touching. Thank you so much for sharing it with me. *snugs* It does seem like people don’t want to be quite honest the whole time. I think one of the reasons might be that we can be afraid what other will say. Myself, I’m afraid that people will get tired of me complaining the whole time. Thank you so much for the words. *snugs*
I saw your blog Jeanne, and it was beautiful. I saw that you saw my comment. I love you too, and thank you so much for praying! *snugs*
Daww, Jenny that was beautiful. That is a great reminder. (And you have a very nice mother.) I believe that I will have times I just want to yell Why, but I am hoping to don’t experience it as often as I do now. But thank you so much for telling me this. *snugs* It’s almost heartbreaking, but in a good way.
So I want to say thank you so much Dana, Jeanne and Jenny for writing here. It means the world to me to know that there are people with me in troubled times. I really don’t know what to say other than I love you all! It feels like you tree have become like sisters to me. Thank you ^.^
I don't know what to say that has not already been said - I always struggle with words when I have something I really, really want to say - but know that I love you, and am praying for you each and every day. Hang in there, dear, this hard time will not last forever. Though ever day may seem a trial, God has not forsaken you, and He never, ever will. He is growing you throughout this hard time, and the verse in James comes to mind - you probably already have this underlined in your bible ;)- "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." So hang in there, dearie, and know that you are being lifted up in prayer, every day. *snuggles*
SvarSlettAnd I haven't had a chance to post on the forum, so I'll say it here: Happy TLC anniversary, Lu! I'm extremely glad you found the forum, and joined. TLC wouldn't be the same without you. ^.^
~Katie (Morning Glory, on TLC :)