Homeschooling

Well, I was thinking about writing “Jill Pole (Part 2)” but I came to think about something different. There is something that has meant a lot to me, and it is one of my biggest wishes. Many of you who read this does probably know what I’m talking about. Yes, homeschooling. (Okay, the tile gave it away.)

But for a long while, I’ve wanted to be homeschooled. I have many reasons for this. You know why. School has simply been horrible. I know I’ve only got one month left until I graduate, but it seems like such a long time. Socially, I must admit that it has been like a nightmare. I tend to make thing bigger than what they really are, but sometimes the bad things seems do dark and you can’t see the hope; the light. When the girls at school are being mean, what are you supposed to do?

Another thing is when people are stepping on your faith. There happened something in the TLC chat room today. I will not blame anybody at all, please don’t get me wrong. But it was said something about when people were saying bad things about your faith. It is so hurting. It can’t be explained. I am not going to say so much more because most of you know it. But there is one thing I need to say.

Sometimes when people say something, it can be hurting. They might not see it at once and I don’t blame them. Think about others, please? (Jenny and Jeanne were here when it happened and none of you said anything wrong. I was rather thankful for the words you two said.) I know I am very sensitive, and I should not. But yes, I started to cry because I felt criticized when I have tried so hard. And I was somehow hurt so the tears just ran…. (And as I said, I’m not mad or anything. This is just thoughts.)

So there you have it. A burning wish. I’m not going to say anymore because I don’t have anything to say. I’ve cried, wrote this, and I am going to try to forget it. Simply forget it.

Jill Pole (Part 1)

Well, this is something completely different from what I use to write here. This is rather my thoughts about dear Jill Pole from The Chronicles of Narnia. Yes, for I think that all of you have read the Silver Chair and The Last Battle. The brave girl, with the pure heart.

Of course, Aslan will always be my favorite character. No doubt about that. As number two, I will have to say Lucy because of personal reasons. But then you have Jill. She has been growing a lot for me lately. Lets start with her crying behind the gym. Poor little girl, it's always horrible to stand alone and having people after you. I'm not quite sure if the Gang used to hit her, but I know they used words. (Both Jeanne, Dana and Jenny have written something about it, and it's absolutely worth to read it. I suggest it at the hardest.) Sometimes, words can hurt so much. I think many have experienced this before, and by that knows how Jill must have felt it. I know how it is to stand behind the gym, crying. Believe me, that is an awful experience. But still, I have a lot of respect for Jill.

When they arrive Narnia, Eustace fall of the cliff. Jill wanted to show that she was brave. Why? Maybe she wanted to prove herself to Eustace, or maybe even to herself? There are time when you need to show yourself that you actually can do something. You are not just a stupid girl, you want other to respect you, and you want to see that you have "talents" if I can say it like that. Myself, I am so stressed with school and I am afraid of doing something wrong. A Lady (some of you know who I am talking about) asked me why it was like that. I didn't have a special answer but I cam to think something like that is my way to show that I am just not a stupid girl. Homework's was something I could work with alone, and I could so what I wanted. And people didn't need to criticize me when I was doing them, right? So maybe it was that Jill wanted to show both Eustace and (mostly) herself that she was a brave girl, and that she was also able to do something?

I find the part where she meets Aslan very interesting. She didn't know if He would kill her, but she decided to go to the river because she was so thirsty. Her needs were bigger then her fears. That is something to keep in mind. It seems like she already then somehow trusted in Aslan. I don't know how to explain it, but I think you that read this will understand. Isaiah 30:15 - In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.

I think that this is very special, and Mr. Lewis do have many points. I really would have appreciated to hear what other thinks, because I am so sure that there are many things I haven't thought about before.

Well, a little note about other things. It seems like things haven't changed yet. I am going to school tomorrow, so we'll See how that will be... I'm trying as hard as I can to hold my head up and look to Him. But sometimes it is so hard... I just don't know what to think right now. But thank you all for being there for me. It means a lot!

(And a little note. First, I must give credit to Jenny because it was her that gave me the idea of writing this. I will also give credit to Dana and Jeanne for the Bible verses they posted, have a helped a great deal. Thank you. ^.^ And then, I got paragraphs without having that this between them! ^.^ And I am still working on the page. I need to find the right color.)

Respect and Wishes

Oh, it’s nice to be done with the two first exams. I am happy, even thought I ‘m sure I did really badly. Over to something completely different. For a couple of days, I’ve been thinking about something. It is maybe a bit personal, but I trust the ones that might read this post. Some of you do also know a lot about what is going on.

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There is one word that somehow does mean a lot to me. It is the word respect. If you look around, how many times have you wanted people to show some respect for you or others? Myself, I have wished that the girls at school could show respect for my faith. I am not saying that they must be Christians, but just don’t criticize me like they do. I am tired of it, and I wish just some respect. I am not to complain really, because there have been other, and still is other that are going through the same or even worse. I just don’t understand why I can’t take it. There are moments I just want to lie down and cry like there was nothing else in this world. I want to trust Him, and I try. But why do I still fail?

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And there is one thing more. When you can’t take things anymore. When everyday is a battle and everything looks hopeless. I know God and Jesus is there, but why can’t I trust them like I used to do? Wye must things be so hard? Why do I have to struggle with weight? Why do I have to struggle at school? Why do I have to struggle socially? Why do I have to struggle with pressure? I have so many questions and it seems like I am all alone. That feeling... I can’t explain it. It is just horrible.

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If people ask how it’s going, you often say things like okay and fine. But the truth might be something different. I don’t have very much to say...

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The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9-10)

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. (Psalm 34:17)

Both of them are wonderful Bible verses, but sometime it is so hard. Sometimes, it seems like the darkness is bigger than the light. I know that it is completely wrong, but it seems so much harder to believe that don’t do it. But God has promised that it will end well, and I am trying to trust Him.

Constitution Day

Well, tomorrow is the big day as many calls it. It’s the Norwegian Constitution Day, also known as the National Day. There will be a lot of parades, marching in the streets and so on. In other words, it’s the day when you are supposed to be happy and just celebrate. I’ve always loved this day, and I have always enjoyed walking in the school parade. But this year, I have changed my mind. This is the last time I can do it because I graduate next month. It’s like a golden chance, but I won’t do it. I will stay with my grandparents and just watch. Smile and wave does always help, right?

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But I guess somebody would ask why? I am sure some of you know that I’ve been struggling with different things like school and social things. So I don’t want go in the parade because of that. I want to stay with my grandparents simply because there I will feel safe. I won’t be afraid of being disappointed and as far as I know, nobody will criticize me.

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Things are not going very well now, and I just want to get away from school “friends”. I want to have a nice day without tears. That is all I’m asking for. As I mentioned, the girls at school does often have something to say. It’s not always nice things. I won’t go into more details because I’ve told this before. Either they have something bad to say about Christianity, or they don’t care about you, or they forget you, or they say bad things behind your back or something else. I’m so tired of this. I know it will end when I graduate but five weeks seems like such a long time. But this day, I will try to focus and family and just eat ice cream. I’m trying to look at the bright side, but it’s just so hard…

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I never really thought I would compare myself to Lucy or Jill in any way. You all know when Lucy was spying on her friend and how bad it ended? I’m afraid to say that I’ve been there. Sometimes the curiosity can make you do things you wouldn’t do. Let me say, it ended badly. And the part where Jill was crying behind the gym? Trust me; I’ve done that as well. It’s such a hurting experience and I believe I know a bit how Jill had it. And I think that is the reason why she has grown so much for me. I just wish I was able to grow like she did.

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And I want to say one thing more. Bible verse of the day. Zephaniah 3:17 – ”The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” I try to trust Him and I truly love Him. He must know what He is doing.

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So there you have it. I don’t have very much more to say other than I hope you all will have a wonderful week and thank you all for being there for me. I am so thankful and God bless you all. ^.^

(And a little side note. I still don't figure out how to get paragraphs. >.<)

The Great Love

Yesterday, I started to think about something I haven’t thought about before. The Great Love. For somebody, this might sound a bit weird to may, but I think many Christians will understand it.

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Yesterday, I got bit by a dog. What happened was that my dog and a different dog started to fight. I panicked and didn’t know what to do. Of course, I was afraid that my own dog would get bitten. The other dog didn’t have a collar but the owners were quite close to us. Well, after some seconds I stepped between the dogs, grabbed my dog and lifted him up. I have never been that scared before, I was shaking like mad. But what I noticed was the pain in my leg. Obviously, the other dog had bit my leg. It was after that I had been to the doctor I started to think about The Great Love.

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I think pretty many would do the same thing as I did, even though it might be a bad idea. (Never stand between two fighting dogs!) You simply do it because of love. You care so much about your dog and you don’t want him or her to be harmed. You are willing to get hurt, because that is not the important thing in that moment.

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But what is love? I’m sure scientists, famous people; theologians and so on have discussed this. I know I can’t give an answer to this, but I have some thoughts about it. And there is especially one thing that came to my mind.

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John 3:16- “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” That is a verse that have meant so much to me. God gave His only son, Jesus Christ! That, I think, is what true love is. He loved us so much, but still we lived in sin. He didn’t stop to love us. He was still our Father, and He loved us. This is something many forget often, and even I do. We are blessed, but we don’t always think about it. Some of us don’t even care about it.

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Jesus Christ died at the cross for us! He gave His life for us! He suffered for us! Why? He loved us. That was pure love. Love can be so many things, but I think that if we do sacrifice our self for somebody; that is true love. He did that, and we are blessed. We should love Him by all our heart, because He loves us. I’m proud of being a Christian and so should everybody be! ^.^ I love God and I love Jesus.

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1 John 4:8- Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love

The Lamb and Lion

I must admit that I never thought that this day would come. I’ve always said that I wouldn’t get a blog because I wouldn’t have anything to write. And who would read it? And why was I supposed to have one? All this thought have swirled around in my head for a long time now. I’ve been so sure that I wouldn’t get a blog.

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But look, it seems like things will change. I actually got a blog and now I’m writing something for it. I must admit that I was pretty surprised. I think that this blog will somehow be like a dairy, bit still so different. It might be mentioned things that have happened, but it will also be about thoughts. I can’t say anything exactly how it will be, and I have no idea if I will write much. Time will show.

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But when I’m first writing here, people might ask questions. Why am I not writing Norwegian when I’m from Norway and that’s my first language? Well, I don’t know. It’s somehow easier to write things in English even though my grammar is pretty bad. It gives you challenges and I simply enjoy it. I must also admit that this is a language pretty much everybody knows.

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Also, people may ask about the blog title. Why? I think the reason is pretty obvious. I’m a Christian girl who loves Jesus and God. I don’t think it needs to be said more really. He was and still is, innocent as a lamb but powerful as a lion. He will be in my heart, and I know I love him. So after all, maybe this will be a blog about my faith? Or perhaps it will be about what’s going on right now? I can’t say anything yet, but as I’ve said before, time will show.