Clearing a Mind

I think I just need to clear my mind now. It just feels so full. I know people must look down at me when I say this, but I cannot help it.

It’s just that I am feeling that I am losing a part of my courage. Really, I am feeling stupid. I want to do something that others can and does, but I am not as good as them. I know so, and that is something I do see everyday. That is English.

People talk, and I can’t understand it all. Yes, it’s not my native language, but it doesn’t hurt less. There are words I have no chances to understand, there are conversations I cannot follow and I don’t live in the same country as many others do. I’m proud over being Norwegian, but in times like that, it just hurts so badly.

I looked at one chat today, and it made me upset. The topic did it, and so did the words as well. I have no right to be so, but I am. It’s so wrong of me, but I am praying to God that He will help me. I don’t want to feel stupid.

I guess I just needed to clear my mind a little. Anyway, I’ll be fine.

I should maybe edit this and add that no matter how much people tell me something, I do often have a hard time understanding. When somebody says something nice to me, of course I get happy and very thankful. That is true. But I have problems with taking positive thing in over me, and it takes a very long time. It's something I am working on wiht the Lady, and I do hope it will get better soon.

I should maybe make an own post to that, but I shall in that case do it later. And I do hope it will make sense. I just need to be told things sevral times before I really understand it, and at times, wants to understand it.