I think I just need to clear my mind now. It just feels so full. I know people must look down at me when I say this, but I cannot help it.
It’s just that I am feeling that I am losing a part of my courage. Really, I am feeling stupid. I want to do something that others can and does, but I am not as good as them. I know so, and that is something I do see everyday. That is English.
People talk, and I can’t understand it all. Yes, it’s not my native language, but it doesn’t hurt less. There are words I have no chances to understand, there are conversations I cannot follow and I don’t live in the same country as many others do. I’m proud over being Norwegian, but in times like that, it just hurts so badly.
I looked at one chat today, and it made me upset. The topic did it, and so did the words as well. I have no right to be so, but I am. It’s so wrong of me, but I am praying to God that He will help me. I don’t want to feel stupid.
I guess I just needed to clear my mind a little. Anyway, I’ll be fine.
I should maybe edit this and add that no matter how much people tell me something, I do often have a hard time understanding. When somebody says something nice to me, of course I get happy and very thankful. That is true. But I have problems with taking positive thing in over me, and it takes a very long time. It's something I am working on wiht the Lady, and I do hope it will get better soon.
I should maybe make an own post to that, but I shall in that case do it later. And I do hope it will make sense. I just need to be told things sevral times before I really understand it, and at times, wants to understand it.
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3 Quips and Anecdotes:
Aww, Marthe. You aren't stupid. Just think of how lost I would be if you were to play a word game in Norwegian! You know so much more English than I know of Spanish, which I've been taking for three years now. Your grasp on the English language never ceases to amaze me - truly. Please try not to be upset about it; you really are amazing in how well you know a language that isn't your native one.
Love you!
I second Abigail. I am amazed by how quickly you grasp the English language, and how you understand us when we even use it incorrectly ourselves. You're amazing! I don't know anything about Norwegian. I would feel awful trying to say anything in your language. I know I couldn't manage it. But you're simply amazing. You speak English beautifully. You speak English like...like a dance! And sometimes people starting dancing and you don't know the dance. Or sometimes you put your foot wrong. That happens sometimes, and no one minds. YOU know so much, and you do so well. Don't be upset if you mess up once or twice, and don't ever be too shy to tell us if you don't understand. Think of how dumb we must sound if we tried to speak Norwegian! Really, Marthe, I can't tell you how amazing and skilled you are.
Oh, Marthe... you're not even close to being stupid! You should be proud of yourself for how much you can understand. The fact that English is your second language, but you can speak it so incredibly well, absolutely amazes me. You're wonderfully skilled, and I mean it.
Don't ever be afraid to tell us when you don't understand. I know it must be frustrating, but please don't feel like it is your fault. We love you just like you are and you truly are amazingly skilled.
Love you. ^.^
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